It Should Have Been You
by Joncal
Summary: Gohan becomes depressed after Goku's death. To top it all off, Chichi has blamed him for it, and abuses him. Set three years after the Cell Games.
1. Chapter 1

Gohan stepped over to the window, and took a quick glance of the outside world. He felt the cool breeze, and heard the birds singing in the trees. He smiled. It been a long time since he had been outside. Gohan wanted to go out so badly. He loved climbing trees and spying on the animals. But his mother no longer let him do anything fun. He spent most of his time locked away in his room, studying. The only times he came out were to eat or bathe. And that was all. He desperately wanted to play with his baby brother Goten. But Chichi wouldn't let him. He turned his head to make sure his door was closed. Then, he slipped out the window. He would only be out for a moment. Just a moment. Then, he would come back and finish studying.

The sun smiled down on Gohan as he strolled through the woods. He loved the warmth of the sun, having not felt it three years. Birds soared in the cloudless sky overhead. The young boy plopped down in front of large oak tree. He leaned against it, and observed his surroundings. So peaceful, so beautiful...

He thought for a moment about his father. Gohan thought about how he would never see his goofy smile, or ever hear him laugh or say "I love ya', son," ever again.

"I'm sorry, dad," Gohan said quietly with a sigh. "Please forgive me."

He closed his eyes for a moment.

When Gohan opened his eyes, he realized it was nighttime. _Oh no,_ he thought. He rose to his feet, and hurriedly made his way back home. The moon was fat and full. The cool breeze Gohan had felt earlier had turned icy and cold. He shivered, and rubbed his arms. His house was coming into view. Gohan scolded himself for falling asleep. _God, I'm so STUPID! _

He rarely slept at all anymore.

Suddenly, his foot became tangled in a tree root. He hit the ground hardly, nearly knocking the wind out of him. "Ow!" He slowly stood back up, cringing from the fresh pain. Gohan had not trained for three years. He had grown weak and frail.

He climbed back into his room through his window, and found Chichi standing before him, her face twisted in anger, her arms crossed over her chest. Gohan gasped. Coming back in through his window, Gohan slipped and hit the floor.

"Where have you been?" Chichi asked in a cold, hating voice.

"Uh, mom, I...I," Gohan stammered.

"Well?"

Gohan gulped. "I...I just went outside, mom."

Before he could say anything else, Chichi's hand shot out and connected with Gohan's face. The punishing blow knocked Gohan across the room and into his bookshelf. Chichi's handprint covered the entire left side of Gohan's face. Blood trickled from his nose.

"You know you're not allowed outside, Gohan," Chichi said in the same cold tone.

"I'm sorry, mom," Gohan said in a frightened voice. His eyes wide with fear, he quickly rose up, and backed away. Chichi's eyes fell on the pile of books that had fallen off the shelf.

"Clean up the mess, and go to bed," Chichi hissed, turning and leaving Gohan's room.

"Okay," Gohan said softly, tears running down his cheeks. He began scraping up books, and putting them back in the shelves. Something slid out of one of the books and hit the floor. Gohan paused. He slowly bent down and discovered it was a photograph. He picked it up and examined it.

The photo featured Gohan, who couldn't have been any older than three when the picture was taken, Goku, and Chichi. They all looked so happy. But that was a long time ago.

A very long time ago...

Gohan crumpled the picture up and heaved it across the room. He finished putting the books up and rolled into bed. He then drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Gohan woke up early next morning. He gingerly rubbed his cheek, wincing at the pain. He hopped out of bed and walked over to his door. Gohan wrapped his fingers around the knob, and tugged the door open. He stepped out into the dark hallway, and tiptoed to the kitchen. He found Chichi and Goten seated at the table, eating.

Goten turned around, and smiled. "Gohan!" His smile faded when he saw the large yellowish bruise on Gohan's cheek. "Hey, Gohan, what happened to your face? Are you okay?" Gohan could hear the worry in his little brother's voice. He sighed, and said: "Yeah, I'm...I'm fine. I just fell. I'm okay buddy."

"Are you sure? You don't look so good," Goten said. Chichi interrupted. "Goten, hurry up and finish your breakfast. We have to go soon."

"Where are you guys going?" Gohan asked. Chichi said: "Shopping." Goten turned to his mother. "Hey mom, can Gohan come? He never goes anywhere with us." Chichi paused. There was a long, awkward silence. Finally, she answered: "No, honey. Gohan has to stay here." Gotenfrowned. "But why?" Chichi groaned. "Goten, finish your food."

"Can I please come?" Gohan begged. Chichi glanced at him. She scoffed. "No." Gohan walked over to Chichi. "Please, mom? Please?" Chichi slapped him hardly. He cried out in pain. Goten gasped. "Gohan! Mom, why did you do that?!" Gohan held his face with both hands.

"I'm sorry, mom," Gohan said, backing away.

"Go to your room," Chichi said coldly. Gohan followed her orders.

Chichi and Goten put their coats on, and left the house.

Gohan sat alone in his room, by the window. He watched the trees sway in the wind, knowing he would probably never get to go out again. He knew he would never be able to do anything ever again.

He began sobbing uncontrollably.

If only his dad was around. His life wouldn't be like this. In a fit of rage, he knocked his book shelf to the ground.

A photo album landed by his feet. He picked it up, and flipped through it. He came to a stop at a picture of Chichi. Gohan smiled. He ripped the photograph to shreds. Gohan then heaved the album across the room. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, and plopped down on the corner of his bed. His whole face was throbbing with fresh pain.

Gohan could still see the shock in Goten's eyes when Chichi slapped him. He wished his little brother hadn't seen that.


	3. Chapter 3

When Goten and Chichi arrived home later that day, he wanted to get as far away from her as possible. Just looking at her gave him an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He looked at Chichi differently now. She no longer seemed kind and cheerful. She was a totally different person.

Goten understood why Gohan never left his room, or did anything but study. The truth had hit the young boy hard, like a ton of bricks. Goten helped his mother carry the groceries into the kitchen. Then, she immediately began preparing lunch. Trying to stay on her good side, Goten offered to help, but Chichi only smiled and patted him on the head, telling him to go out and play. And that's what he did. He went outside, and took a seat underneath an oak tree. He sat there, that scene from breakfast playing over and over in his mind. Why would she do that? Why?

"Goten, lunch is ready!" Chichi called out half an hour later. Goten cocked his head in the direction of her voice. He rose to his feet, and hurried home. He strolled into the kitchen, where his mother instructed him to get Gohan and tell him it was time to eat.

Goten made his way down the dark hallway, and came to a stop at Gohan's door. He knocked. "Gohan, lunch is ready," Goten said. He got no response. He paused, and knocked again, this time a little harder. "Gohan, can you hear me? Lunch is ready."

Still, there was no answer. Goten opened the door, and found his brother slumped over his desk, face-down. Goten assumed he was sleeping. But then his eyes fell on the puddle of blood. He gasped. He walked over to his brother, and shook him. "Gohan, what's wrong?" Gohan said nothing. And that's when Goten noticed he wasn't breathing.

He took a step backwards, his eyes filled with horror. Goten turned and ran out as fast as he could. "Mom! Mom! Something's wrong with Gohan!" He was starting to cry. Goten entered the kitchen, tears pouring down his cheeks.

"Goten, what's wrong?" Chichi asked, her eyes wide with concern. She took a step towards him, and Goten backed away. "It…it was YOU!" he screamed, crying even harder. "You…you killed Gohan! You killed him!"

"What are you talking about?" Chichi asked. Goten ran away from her, and hid in the living room. Chichi turned and ran down the hall to Gohan's room.

Her eyes widened as she saw her son, blood dripping from his slashed wrist and puddling on the floor. In his other hand was a large, bloody butcher knife. Chichi slowly walked towards the boy. On his desk, she saw a note, addressed to her. With trembling hands she picked it up and began to read it.

_Dear Mom,_

_I'm sorry for everything I've done. I just hope now you can forgive me. You've put me through so much pain. It's the kind you can never recover from. Never. But I found an easy way out. I didn't want to do this. I love you, and Goten. But it hurts so much. I just couldn't go on anymore._

_ Gohan_


End file.
